Just Don’t Pee in the Shower

No matter how warm the water, or how relaxed you may feel, one must NEVER pee in the shower in Korea. Why?

Because that means you would be peeing ON THE FLOOR. How?

Allow me to explain, How to Take a Shower in Korea:

1. Turn on the hot water, via a switch on the wall in the bedroom. This switch looks like an air conditioning unit, but if you forget to turn it on, you will only get cold water. If you leave it on too long, your apartment will melt.

2. Turn on bathroom sink and wait for the hot water to get there. While you wait (about 2 min), make sure to move anything out of the bathroom that you don’t want to get wet. Also use this time to put on your shower shoes/jellies.

3. Once the water is hot, turn the knob that directs the sink’s water to the shower head on the wall.

4. You are now taking a shower. Without a curtain or divider. To quote Ms. Carrie Bradshaw,

“You shower over the toilet?”

Dante's 6th circle of hell.

Yes. You do. The entire bathroom gets wet. You are right in front of your sink and sink’s MIRROR. You are right by the toilet. In fact, just to shave my legs the other day, I sat on the toilet during my shower. Seriously.

And when you are finished you must remember to:

1. Switch the water flower back to the sink, or the next time you go to brush your teeth, you will accidentally be taking another shower.

If the shower drain clogs, your belongings go a floatin' downriver.

2. Wipe off the toilet/other surfaces. I forgot this the first time, and I had to pee. I sat on the toilet and literally slid off onto the floor.

3. Turn off the hot water.

It’s also important to remind yourself that you are still a dignified human being, despite all recent evidence to the contrary.

On a good day, this is a sauna.

On a bad day, this is the shower equivalent of a squatter toilet.