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Am I the only one…

17 May

…not watching Downtown Abbey?

…staying up at night trying to figure out who the hell is January Jones’ baby daddy? GIVE IT UP ALREADY

…who attempted to drink a bottle of Hello Kitty wine this week? (spoiler alert, it tastes like hangover)

…who may or may not have cried during the season finales of Parks&Rec and Criminal Minds?

…wrestling with cowlicks every morning? I’m considering placing an emergency call to my little brother to discuss hostile-takeover strategies.

…sludging through The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald? If I wanted to know about the drama that ensues when rich, white people get drunk, I would just watch Gossip Girl.  Which I already do.

…who had the most surprisingly fun time at a Korean professional baseball game last weekend? (more on this later. It was FAB.  And I spent 5 minutes on Skype convincing my parents that I wasn’t being sarcastic.)

…who forgot to blog this week? Let’s blame this on the Hello Kitty wine.

…completely disgusted with Kanye West for dating Kim Kardashian? The only way I could respect him less is if this wasn’t a publicity stunt.

…who thinks bralets are hilarious?  Before wearing a bralet, ask yourself: Am I going to Coachella?  If the answer is yes, then have fun, stay hydrated, and don’t take the red pill.  If the answer is no, then you need to put a shirt on.  And reevaluate.

…who got some awesome swag for Teacher’s Day?! $200 gift certificate to a department store, beautiful bouquets, and hilariously worded cards from my students, makes Claire a happy teacher.

…mildly horrified by Beyonce’s non-dress at the Met Costume Gala last week?  Like…you’re a mother now(shudders)

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Once again y’all, the number one rule of fashion is: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Glad we’re all on the same page now guys.

Today’s quote:

Believe me, I wish you weren’t such a Houston foreclosure of a human being, but I need to tear you down and turn you into someone that can actually win this thing!

-Jenna, 30 Rock

…..

Today I’m thankful for Teacher’s Day! Teaching kindergarten totally trumps elementary school in terms of student to gift ratio.

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Deep Thoughts – 90s TV edition

8 May

While out walking and enjoying the spring weather after work, I stumbled across some Deep Claire Thoughts previously buried:

Stage 1 – Worry: It all began when I casually wondered if my new hair was a little too 90s, and resembled Jenny Garth, aka Kelly Taylor, from the original 90210…

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I’ve made a huge mistake.

Stage 2 – Sadness:  …then I lamented how real-life Jenny Garth is getting a divorce from that Twilight doctor… (see above picture – it works here too)

Stage 3 – Blind Hope: …I then realized this finally opened the doors for a Kelly Taylor – Dylan McKay real-life reunion of love, because god knows we could all use a win right now. Dare to dream y’all. And dare to imagine the reality TV heaven this could be. (if you are into that thing, which I’m totally not)

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This is actually not the worst idea I’ve had today.

For the record, I told you not all of the posts would be life-changing.  But we all got lucky that today’s was.

……..

Aaaaannnnddd, today I’m thankful for friends that make me laugh. A lot. It should be assumed that all of my friends are loyal, smart, caring, and amazing – because they are.  But it’s recently occurred to me that they are also hilarious. They make me laugh everyday, even when I’m determined to be in a bad mood. So today, I am thankful for you, funny friends.

…I’m also thankful for Google images, because sometimes you just need to find pics of 90s TV stars immediately.

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!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy work week!  My inflated ego and I sincerely thank you for all of the encouragement yesterday.